Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Ohh...Conceivable, Tabloid Front Pages

True Confessions

Opie confesses to Andy,

Gee Pa I growed up into nothing but a closet Catholic baiter. I always knew I was meant to be something special.

Hollywood Crime

Barretta’s talking bird berates acquittal jury while pacing jury rail

sqwaaaak! I told ya, the s.o.b’s guilty...guilty...Guillllty I tell ya!

Exposed! And Too Infinity!

Actor, who utterly confused fans by believing Grasshoppa just didn’t play a dark ‘deep thinker’ flees to HuangCaulk due to Hollywood closet shortage

Everyone is asking when the proper amount of time is observed before LOL for yet another of Hollywood’s most revered philosopher boobs. Related new song ‘rises’ to the top...Everybody was Kung Fu tightening.

We thought we were just out of the loop with teabagging, and gerbil shortages. Anderson Cooper and his giggling insider guests must be loaded with inside jokes.

Still related new sexual deviant group seeks marriage, adoption, parade, public bathroom, and park surprise rights. Obama’s hand-picked team says, Cool! Just waiting on Obama now, whose wondering how he can leaf brush the tracks on this one.

North Korean, Kim Jong Short Inseams leader just thought of something else to pass the time by while still being impatiently ignored. What does a real life troll with little man syndrome have to do to get a bomb dropped on his head, anyway? Oh, I forgot the million man army of smiling funny talking skinny munchkins with really low blood sugar. They really ought to go to commie boys R us to get better fitting uniforms and normal sized hats.

They better save what money they can muster for asbestos underwear because it can be quite challenging to pass a de-militarized zone knee deep in napalm.

The Fonz, Henry Van Winker has been found to be nothing more than an effeminate pro abort feminist tenor. Jump higher over those sharks, Henry.

Baby killer, George Tiller, fans accuse prolifers of being partially responsible for his death. Tiller type fans and masters of short liberal shouting points, profanities, and perversions, more so de- facto responsible for 49 million babies deaths. Hmmm....Who to join?... who to join?

Forget the Swine Flu what about the hallowed academic hall, dementia pandemic in Catholic and secular 'institutions' since the sixties?

World News

Comedian in his own mind, Jon Stewart applauds Obama’s, ‘Better head dressed than head-less’ foreign and domestic policy. Gibs, give us a lie, a laugh, and another podium drum-roll, will ya.

Perfect...the free world sleeps well tonight.

Obama hires rat’s nest of left-hand perverse activists, for most key positions in top government of the United States of America and asks Notre Dame the question... Can’t we all just get along ....we all want what’s right?..Right! By the way, what religion are we today, Michelle?

Scandal Magazine

Catholic entrusted militant Marxist academic unions, politically correct trustees, and entertainment struck administrations produce.. zero domestic priests, feminist nuns, teen age Church loathers, and empty Churches of anyone without a senior’s card and who doesn’t vote for abortion parties. Church clams up world wide. The Christian world sleeps well tonight.

Healthcare Hell

Hollywood’s celebrity cripples, and chronically and socially diseased, demand no fetus left behind or alive, if their pitiful lives can be extended for one more face lift, and botox injection.

But conservative Christians and traditional Catholics are so evil aren’t they?

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